January 14, 2013

Boys and their hair. Moms and their sons' hair.

My son Jack turned 5 in November. Usually I give him a buzz cut, but in early fall he started to refuse. At first it was because of the sound of the clippers. Then he said he liked his hair over his ears. Which, sadly, is the thing I like the least.  I really like being able to see his ears and his cute jawline.
I sort of pushed the issue in a manipulative way. Like "Hey babe what if we just snip it really quick with scissors? " or "Oh but I just love your cute little ears!". He said he wanted to grow it long. I asked how long and he said, "Well not as long as Finley's hair.". Finley is his sister and her hair is past her mid back. So.... I tried to figure out why I was so opposed to him having longer hair. I've always let my three older daughters cut their hair any way they like. As a matter of fact, my 13 year old daughter Sydney has her head shaved.  I never expect my daughters to live up to anyone's standard of beauty- not even my own. It is their hair and they can express themselves with it as they choose.  So why was I feeling so resistant about it with my son? Was I being a hypocrite? Are my girls freer to do as they choose because they are older? (7, 10, 13) Or are they freer because they're girls? Silly mommy. Maybe it's because he's the baby and he is now forming his own opinions and requesting his own styles? Whatever my resistance, I decided to let it go. It's just hair. Who cares if he has 2 cowlicks on his crown. Who cares if his Grandma doesn't approve. Who cares if for some reason the back of his hair grows faster than the front and he seems to have a natural mullet.
I love my son. NOT his hair.  We will see what he decides over time, and adore him for having a unique personality the same way his sisters do.

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